Today was quite a tiring day for me and my hubby. My girls have been throwing up since last night (while I was sleeping…apparently I was so tired and slept so deep that I didn’t know what ruckus had been happening all night long). I knew it about 4am this morning (I woke up and found out that I slept alone on the bed he he he) when both of my girls threw up again (for the third or fourth times). It seemed my hubby had been taking care of them all night long, seeing the scattered medicine on the shelves and tissues around the bed. I felt disoriented for a moment, I took my time in taking all information explained briefly by my hubby in a hush-a-hush voice and the ‘war-like’ bedroom. After a while, when the girls calmed down, we all tried to go back to sleep (at least I tried my hardest to go to sleep while my head started to spin – analyzing why and what – what did they have since I didn’t think that the last night dinner was spoilt in a way).
We decided to skip school
eventhough today was the first day of exam. We went to the doctor, got the
medicine and rushed back home so that the girls could rest. While my girls were
sleeping, I thought I should thank my hubby, not only for taking care of them
all night (and he still went to work too…jia you daddy!) but because he let me
sleep (I believe he will wake me up if he think he has too much on his hands).
He know if I didn’t get my ‘8hours’ of sleep, I tends to be impatient. And
taking care 2 sick little girls demands lots of patient J Thank you dear…*bear-hugs*
Thinking bout my
considerate hubby, I remembered my last Friday PTM in my youngest girl’s Yamaha
class – nJXC3 (parent teacher meeting, where teacher reports the progress of
the student and work together with the parent to address any issue in regards of
the student or of the class). I was kinda excited because I wanted to know more
about the teacher (I’d never had a PTM with this teacher before since my girl
just transferred to this Friday class in Aug, due to the schedule conflict with
her former Thursday class). And it turned out to be pretty interesting PTM.
The PTM was supposed to be
started at 4pm, and since I have to pick my oldest girl from her Mandarin class
nearby (her class is off at 4pm as well), I asked permission from the teacher
to come in late. Precisely at 3.50pm, I rushed to pick my girl and came back to
Yamaha as soon as possible, I was only 3mins late (according to my watch).
However, the PTM was not started yet since other parents (except me) weren’t
there yet…geezzz…for goodness sake…I really hate rubber watch! Finally, the
teacher opened the PTM at 4.10pm. There were 3 other moms beside me, another
one came much later after that.
After introduction and
brief preamble, the teacher explained that the progress of this class was
falling behind the schedule. All due to some students who didn’t practice (do
HW) at home and therefore holding back the progress of other students who did
their practice at home. Since the material is getting more advanced than the
previous level, the teacher asked the parent to support and encourage the
children to do their practice at home. This was when the PTM got heated.
Most parents (except me)
complained that the children already have too much school study and homework to
do, therefore any HW from this class isn’t put on priority list. Well, I
thought…who doesn’t? Nowadays, especially on higher class, HW and exams have
become the routine in school life. One mom even expressed that her son might
drop out of this class since he isn’t interested to practice at home. She (the
mom) admitted that she doesn’t know about piano and isn’t interested in finding
out whether her son doing his HW or not. Silently I thought…well, how can a
child be motivated to practice if the parent has never shown any interest
toward it? Why the child should put her/his effort into practicing if the
parent doesn’t care at all about it …or worse…has never heard any piece played
by the child? That mom even didn’t know that her son has started to composed a
very simple song…geezzz
One of the parents asked
the teacher to carry out the most appropriate way to discipline the student.
She said, “Teacher, you know the children best than us.” WHATTT??? My parental
instinct was kicked in…I almost spoke up my mind (but I managed to calm down –
I know diplomacy isn’t my biggie). How could a teacher, who merely spends less
than 60mins in a week, KNOWS more about the children than the mom who lives
together with the children? Even if the mom is a full-time-working mom (which
is not – since she is a full time mom), I bet, mom is still one of family member
who spend more time with the child. Imho, parent (or other family member) is
supposed to be the one who is able to provide supplementary information re to the
child, for the teacher, not on contrary manner.
Another mom said that she
let her daughter do whatever her daughter deemed necessary and important. She
said, “I want her to be independent and be responsible, so I don’t ask and
check on her. I trust she know what’s the best” I screamed and yelled (silently
of course)…hey mom, how old do you think your daughter is? My best guess is not
more than 8years old and we are talking about what’s necessary and what’s
not…what’s important and what’s not with 8years old children. Well, my 6yo
daughter might say that her plushie is her most important thing…and anyone who
give lots of HW should be sent to other dimension to play with Dibo – the magic
dragon (pls catch it on cable tv). Trust, independency and responsibility are
important aspects, however children should learn it in a proportional
stages/portions. And parent should help the children to understand the boundary
and limitation attached to those aspects. Otherwise, again imho, that mom is
being ignorant and not giving the correct example of being a responsible
person.
I thought (long after the
PTM)…I like music (sometimes I listen to the music for distressing) and
eventhough I’m tone-deaf (yes, trust me…I can’t distinguish mi with sol, re
with la) and never had any musical background or classes (unless you call once
a week recorder class in my junior high is a music class), I’m pretty much
blank bout it. But since I like music and I know music can do good thing to us
(mostly mentally), I try to learn music. I read music theory books, listen to
classics, learn playing piano by myself (autodidact), learn reading music
scores, etc. For me, music is supposed to be fun and enjoyable things, can be
shared among the whole family. I tried to teach my girls that music is fun and
good…we sometimes practice together (and my oldest girl will pinpoint my wrong
fingering – while I’m teaching the youngest one). I wanted them to learn to
love music (not because so that they can be a great Chopin player in the
future), but because once they love it, they will have motivation to learn and
practice more by themselves…and by getting more practice, they will love music
more and know the beauty of the music, and the cycle will repeated J Now, my girls always practice their piano
(sometimes together while creating some ‘noise’) in a fun environment, you can
hear them singing off-pitch while playing and laughing altogether.
Therefore, I couldn’t
understand certain parent which expects some miracle to be happened, they pay
the tuition fee and let the teacher and children do their own struggle, and
expect the children to be able to play piano and pass the grading exam at the
end of semester. Well, unless your child is a genius-born one or the teacher
possesses certain magic…it’s basically impossible to have that sort of expectation.
I questioned myself over and over…whether to write this or not. I know this
post is too disturbing. I know that every child…every parent…everybody has
their own reasoning, has their own choices and made their own decision. And I
know that I poked my nose into other people business, and yet, I couldn’t stop
myself from stressing out that supporting environment is important for children
(especially during their growing stage to teen). And that supporting
environment includes you!!!…(yes, you as the mom or you as the dad)
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